November 19, 1998 We moved to Livingston, Texas today. We are staying in the Escapee's Club Campground. This is a very nice place but today it is full so we are dry camping. Dry camping is the congested form of the verb boondocking. They called it dry camping here with a straight face. The Trinity River, about three miles from here, is at raging flood stage. They are reporting 85,000 cubic feet per second. When John Wilson took his raft trip through the Cataract Canyon of the Colorado River it was flowing at 45,000 cubic feet per second. If you call him, he will tell you that was enough water for any river.

The trip here was uneventful. Translation- nothing was harmed during the relocation. The 220-mile trip was 75% freeway and a breeze. There were a few hair-raising moments, but none for the record book.

The Escapee's club is the organization that does my mail forwarding. The name is a cleaver expansion of the original club name: SKP which stood for Support, Knowledge and Parking. There is a potluck dinner this weekend. It was billed as an opportunity to "get rid of your left-overs." You won't be seeing me there. This was injected to offer a flavor of the club. Potluck dinners are a disappearing phenomenon of the "Off and On Generation"™ (my parents, and Susie's parents, have adjusted to and accepted my sense of humor). There is one reason that both potluck dinners and that generation are becoming rarer: hepatitis.

November 20, 1998 The Jeep earped up all of its coolant today. A crack appeared in the coolant reservoir. The part was located in Houston and should arrive Monday. We are at the mercy of both the UPS and the mechanic. I am a little worried about the mechanic. As I was talking to the owner of the shop, one of his mechanics announced that the call he just took was from the local courthouse. The judge wanted him to sign some papers in the judge's presence. Probably not a good sign. So until the part arrives we will be on foot in the middle of nowhere. Of course there is little to eat on hand. We will be going through all of our canned meats (and probably vise-versa).

November 21, 1998 It rained this morning then cleared to a beautiful day. Briefly considered the potluck dinner. We are outside of TV range of Houston. Susie got about 6 or 8 movies from the video library at the campground. The campground is one giant sandy mud pie. Everyone walking around are packing giant mud Whizzo feet.

November 22, 1998 Tuna Noodle Casserole.

November 23, 1998 We got the Jeep back today. Good news, the mechanic did a good job at a reasonable price. I did have to hitchhike into town to pick it up. I would not stop to pick me up, but someone did (Mr. and Mrs. Victim). I did not have the heart to admonish them for their good deed. Less than ten minutes after sticking out my thumb, I was getting out of the car at the repair shop. I used to think that 25% of the people were stupid; I was way off. More on stupid tomorrow.

November 24, 1998 We learned how to become Texans today. The Escapees have a book on how to transfer one's domicile to Texas. The book had been in the Jeep at the repair shop. The bad news is that they license by weight. Not mine, thank you, the weight of the bus. There is a huge base fee, plus $.60 per 100 pounds. Start with 30,000 pounds empty, add everything we own (lotgs of glass, ±$5000 worth) and we are heavy. Oops, add 100 gallons of diesel fuel at a bargain $.91 per gallon, we are talking heavy. With goofy insurance laws, and the other factors, we decide that the benefits do not outweigh the liabilities.

Now for the punch line. Since I was going to get a Texas driver's license, the fact that mine from Missouri was about to turn into a pumpkin was not a concern. With the decision to remain Missouri residents, my License would crap out on November 28, the Saturday after this Thanksgiving. Stevie rolls snake eyes again. This morning we realize that I need to get back to Missouri to renew my license. It is all back roads from here. If you don't believe me, find Livingston, Texas (just north of Houston) and connect the dots to Pineville, MO. The exciting news is that it was mostly 70 mph on those back roads in Texas. I drove most of the way on the 24th and drove back on the 25th. Each way turns out to be the equivalent of driving from KC to Branson, back to KC, and then back to Branson each day. The only fun part to the trip was that gas was $.77 a gallon, even on the day before Thanksgiving. I get back late and I was gooned on tension.

I am reminded that stupidity has always been expensive. All of you have seen me dole out for the stupid things that I have done. This was no different. The ladies at the license bureau in Pineville were amused. Were I a stand-up comedian, all this might have been deductible. I visualize the expression on the face of the on IRS auditor as I do a "set" to verify that I am a stand-up comedian. This is not deductible.

November 25, 1998 Update journal, powder butt and drink Tequila.

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