I don't have the stomach for this. If you think you do, I suggest you test this before you take the plunge. Go get a Tootsie Roll and zap it in the microwave for 20 seconds. Now pitch it into the yard and, before it chills, go get it. The proper technique involves peeling the sack off the hand and over the prize like a surgeon would remove a latex glove. You would be inclined to control Fido's diet. Science Diet or some other highly digestible kibble would be my choice. If your dog runs free in a fenced in back yard, it is cute to watch him catch popcorn on the fly or marvel at the number of Thompson seedless grapes he can eat. That doesn't happen around here. When you see a dog doing his business here he is usually struggling to pinch off a cinder.
Dog owners always walk their dog toward the Dumpster. Smiling is apparently not allowed.
One natural spin-off of the above duty is the high percentage of small dogs. I always thought that the small dog thing was due to the fact that the living area was small. When you picked out your Tootsie Roll did you pick the small or extra large one? The Pekinese are cute but hairy and Dachshunds are also popular. A surprising number of people have those small hairless dogs named after a Mexican state and made popular again by Taco Bell. I can pronounce the name; I just could not spell it. When I ran "bug-eyed taco rat"™ through my thesaurus I got nothing. How does anyone intentionally decide on a "bug-eyed taco rat"™? I guess if you were buying a dog with the intentions of putting clothes on it, the "bug-eyed taco rat"™ might seem to be the logical choice.
I can understand how the varmit evolved hairless. Any sudden move and the critter whizzes itself. Sneeze around one and bingo, it will whiz where it stands. If I ran a carpet cleaning business near a RV park and business was slow, I would wait until midnight and shoot a pistol off in the middle of the park.
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