When I was 17, a buddy and I spent 3 weeks driving all around the country. We kept track of road kills, with the "Unknown" category leading all other identifiable critters. When we got to Texas the Armadillo challenged the "Unknown" group. The little armored varmints would run out into the highway and look right at you. After passing over the little beasts they would spin around and watch as you drove away. I guess the blast of 70 mile per hour air was cool and invigorating.

When Susie and I drove through Texas we did not see a single Armadillo. It wasn't until we got into Oklahoma before we saw out first, although dead, Armadillos. What possibly could have caused the decline of the Armadillo in Texas and their rise in Oklahoma and the Ozarks? The decline part was easy: Low Riders

In south Texas the Low Rider automobile rules. The proud owners of these vehicles have them decked them out with incredible paint jobs, 12-inch wheels and low profile tires. Everything but ground clearance, but that's the idea. New businesses have sprouted from the proliferation of this new breed of American automobile. Low Rider car shows can be found any weekend, but my favorite spin-off is the tire and wheel rental business. Nothing dresses up a Low Rider more than a fancy set of chrome wheels and new tires. These fancy wheels and tires are not very practical for everyday use. They cost way too much and make the vehicle a target of theft. The solution is to rent the wheels for the weekend of the show. We drove by a wheel rental show room in San Antonio. I just wish I had thought of it.

Anyway, a high percentage of Armadillos apparently did not grasp the concept of ground clearance. They were doomed to be transformed into armored street pizzas. The small percentage that embraced the concept had to leave the land of the Low Rider or abandon their invigorating vice. Finding a new habitat where the vehicles have generous ground clearance would allow the species to survive. If you have ever navigated the back roads of the Ozarks you know that a truck with 4-wheel drive, and monster tires, is a necessity. In Oklahoma you need a big truck to haul your roofing supplies.

That's natural selection, as I understand it.

There is one other small factor in the Armadillo's decline. The western stores I visited, from Ft. Worth to Kingsville, sold stuffed Armadillos. These mountings had the Armadillos on their backs guzzling a "Lone Star" longneck beer, which was held firmly in all four paws. I could not imagine a market for these garish objects, but a friend reminded me that everyone that had a Jackalope in their den or over their bar was a potential buyer. Just another small piece to the puzzle of the disappearing Armadillo.